Eagle Feather

The Horses came through the North Gate last night. We caught them nibbling at the newly planted strawberries. Chased em out of the yard with a stick. Yelling and screaming, 'YAH!'.

They were back when we woke up this morning. The people I'm caregiving for are too old and frail to be chasing horses around the pasture. So they fire a round off to drive em away when they show up. They gave me the gun to help get them back into the North pasture. Horses can be stubborn.

Out into the wet and cold with snow falling now I walked into the pasture with the gun up. Horses know what a gun is. I pop off a round to get their attention. They start to trot off in the wrong direction. Hmmph...

Then Chikala, a little fuzzy dog the owners have showed up. Usually shes quiet the annoying little barker and trouble maker. Now, suddenly, she's a sheppard dog. She sweeps wide and comes around to the proper driving side and, wallah. The horses are moving towards the gate. It looks like they might go through but move on past it.

Lots of walking to follow and come around again. This time I settle myself. Go inward and relax. Chikala sweeps around again. Wow. I'm impressed she really has the instinct. The little black mop streaks through the wet meadow like a fuzzy zigging bullet. Hmmm... I put the gun away.

The horses respond to Chikala again. Only this time I stand still and shouut to the horses once. Their ears pick up and they look towards me amid their trot. Mentally I picture the fence. They respond and sweep through as if guided by unseen reigns. A smile crosses my lips as I approach the open gate. I breathe thanks to the Horses for their cooperation. Then see the comparison in the use of threats vs heartfelt cooperation. Another lesson learned here. More thanks.

The barbed wire gate is a pain to close. But it closes. Job well done and a heartfelt goodbye to the horses. Turning around to leave I'm stopped short by the sight on the ground before me. Atop the grass and wet with the new snow is an Eagle Feather. I hold it up towards the sky giving thanks.

Its going to be a Great Day!!!

Traveler13

starting over

At this point in my life I've come to a realization that a certain degree of control must be exerted over my circumstancesin order to assure a harmounious second half to my life. I have experienced a great many things and learned much. It is time to take what i have gathered and build not only for my future but for the future of my daughter and humanity.

I have, at this point in my life, lost almost everything. My credit is ruined. My reputation has been smashed. I owe more money to more people and agencies than I can remmber. The community I wanted to become part of has rejected me for my indescresions and inablility start social sexual relations (true or not this is the effect of what happened). A large syndicate has become aware of me and is harrasing me regularly. My dental health is failing rapidly due to a lifetime of poverty and ignorance on my part. I have no place to live or create so my time dedicated to writing is limited and sparotic. My family has become unreliable in an supportive sense. I have few freinds who would extend any living assistance or palce to live. I have no money and have been relegated to the lower end of the earning spectrum by society and a lack of education. I'm hearing spirits and seeing some stange things. Even as I chip away at my own ego and habitual behaviors in an attempt to harmonize myself with my soul intent in this life, challenges appear around everycorner I turn and people seem to oppose my very growth. i know this isn't the truth but, I can't help but feel at times like I have some sort of...evil opposing my every effort. I'll focus more on this in later blogs.

I'm keeping my mind focused on my efforts to reach oregon and my daughter. My van has been repaired and money is coming soon. I will be able to depart from exile in Pine Ridge soon and will begin the trip back to Santa Cruz and the mystery of my life and why I seem to have attracted SO MUCH attention. I know I have a large psychic presense. But why do so many fear me, when all I look for is love. All i desire is to assist in the unfolding of the new paradigm. Answers have started coming.